Moments in Time
by Maeniel
Summary: AU. Side story to My Life. Those times you remember and never want to forget... or can't forget no matter how hard you try. Moment eight: Kenshin's a little nervous.
1. Mother's Day

**Disclaimer**: I own me. Some of the time. Everything else… nope.

**Notes**: If you have not read 'My Life' it will be more difficult for you to pick our some of the finer nuances in this. This chapter will still make sense, even if you haven't read 'My Life.' The following will be little things, mostly moments of Kenshin's past and perhaps future. Rating will go up in later chapters.

**Warnings**: None, unless you're afraid of WAFF.

Moments in Time

            The house smelled of flowers. A vase of roses sat on the foyer table. There were lilies in the next room. Someone had picked some lilac blossoms, the drooping flowers tilting toward the ray of sunlight that just missed the kitchen table. In a water glass next to the lilacs, four yellow dandelions poked into the air proudly.

            She was sitting in bed, auburn hair folded up and back, held in place with a barrette, the strands too short for the simple style falling about her face and neck in haphazard array. On the nightstand beside her, there were more flowers. Wildflowers, plucked by small hands from a field behind their house, graced her with their multicolored presence, and she would look at them from time to time and smile.

            Something akin to a herd of wild animals went rushing through the house, breaking the silence and causing her to turn away from the book she held. She smiled and set the book on the nightstand, waiting for her child to greet her.

            "Mom!" a young boy burst into the room, his small face flushed with excitement. "Mom, I made something for you at Aunt Judy's!"

            He had always been remarkably articulate, ever since learning to speak. Her first child had been so quiet, having difficulty with the simplest phrases until her grade school teachers helped her. This one, however, was always so spirited, filled with a vibrancy unlike anything she had ever expected.

            At that moment, he was as cheerful as ever, climbing onto the bed to sit near her, holding out a piece of light blue, folded construction paper. There was red construction paper in the general shape of a heart glued sloppily to the front.

            "You made this for me?" she asked warmly, pulling the boy into her lap as he scrambled to get closer. He leaned back against her, wild red hair tickling her face when she hugged him and rubbed her nose on the top of his head. He giggled and squirmed.

            "Mom!" was his laughing rebuke.

            "Tell me what you made," she suggested, resting back against her pillow. He held up the folded paper, and glitter sprinkled down to the quilt from within the card.

            "Aunt Judy says we're supposed to wait before giving them to you," he said. "Daddy says I can show you now."

            "Is that so?" she sighed, sitting straight again and pushing her son's hands down until the card rested flat on the bed. "Can I open it?"

            "Yeah!" he giggled at being bent forward under the woman. "Aunt Judy says it's a special day… but not today."

            "Sunday?" she offered.

            "Sunday," he repeated. "For moms. I wrote it myself."

            She studied the large, uneven blocky letters, recognizing her son's hand. It was partially covered by glitter and glue, but she knew what it read. Above his writing was the delicate curves of the teacher's handwriting. It was not nearly as pleasant to read as the black slashes below.

            "Read it to me, sweetie," she murmured.

            "Mmkay," he pointed at the black marker sketching. "To Mom…" he was pointing at the wrong words, but that did not matter. She kissed the boy's head. "Love Kenshin… It's for you. What's that say?"

            He pointed to the teacher's handwriting. Smiling, the woman pointed to the first word, her finger touching each successive word as she read.

            "Happy Mother's Day."

            "That's Sunday?"

            "That's Sunday."

            "What's today?" he wondered.

            "It's even better," she murmured. "Let's sit outside today. It's stopped raining."

^_^

End Notes: Happy belated Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there. This was not actually inspired by the recent holiday, but I gladly used it to help me with the moment between Kenshin and his mother. 'Aunt Judy' is actually a daycare monitor, not one of Kenshin's relatives.


	2. Life as an anesthetic

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else. Now that you've rubbed it in, I will go off into a corner and cry.

**Notes**: Now this will be something like I was first attempting to do with My Life. It's brief, random moments, each intended to get across some sort of feeling. I've since discovered it works better for me as an additional thing rather than the core story. Chapters will range from cheerful to heartwarming to downright depressing, depending on what comes to mind.

**Warnings**: Drug use.

Moments in Time

            The air was so thick that it parted in an ethereal swirl of smoke as I passed through it. The smoke shimmered, the entire structure of the house vibrating with the intensity of the bass, pounding from the speakers. The pulsing storm beat through me, squeezing me, holding me, moving me.

            Someone beckoned. I did not know her, but I went to her nonetheless. She smiled, slow and lazy, like a cat. I wasn't a cat.

            "I like your dancing," she murmured. "I'll dance with you."

            I shook my head and moved away. I didn't go to these places to dance.

            The music was so loud it hurt at first. After awhile, I was numbed to it, aware only of the throbbing of the bass. I stopped near a speaker and rested my hand against the side, feeling the buzzing quiver of the amp, tingling through my arm and body. It was the feeling of losing all physical sensation.

            A phone rang. The neighbors were complaining. Someone shouted over the music.

            "_Turn it up!_"

            I could hardly breathe, it was so loud. Someone handed me a joint, and I sat on the floor next to the amp, sighing as everything faded with the numbing quality of the drug. The bass consumed me, deadening in its heavy beat. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the speaker drifting away from the people in the room.

            The silence woke me. Opening my eyes, I tilted my head to see a flash of pale hair and a broad smile.

            "Hey there, kid," he clapped a hand against my shoulder as we walked down the darkened street toward home. A block away, red and blue lights flashed, hurting my eyes. "You'll never get up tomorrow if we don't get you in bed. School's important, right?"

            The night was hot, summer heavy in the air. I didn't have school tomorrow. Uncle Hiko was sending me to Driver's Ed classes, but it was just as easy to sleep through those.

            "We just missed talking with the cops," Enishi observed. "Maybe next time, kid. I'm sure they'd love to chat."

            He left, and I let myself into the house. It was stifling, sickening as I fell on the bed. Not bothering with sheets, I closed my eyes and let the night carry me away.

^_^

            He's yelling again. He's always yelling. _Why aren't you going to classes? Look at these grades! Are you even listening to me?!_

            I'm listening. I just don't care. I sit through his lecture, stare out the window. This shift from fall to winter is always such a gray time. Everything dies. The trees aren't that violent red, orange, and yellow. They've gone brown. Their branches are bare, but for those stubborn leaves that refuse to fall. The grass is yellowy and brown and brittle. There's sand on the street from when it snowed last week and the trucks came through to plow and drop chemicals.

            Looking back to him, I find that he's still talking. He's mad. Then again, that's not unusual. I still don't care. There's nothing… I don't feel anything. He'll keep yelling, threatening, telling me _if you don't get your act straight--_

            It fades. He's done shouting for now. As usual, he ends by telling me to go do my homework. So I get up, pick up my bag, and go to my room. He's got a meeting tonight. I'll leave then.

^_^

End Notes: Yes, this chapter also had a theme. Two entirely different times, with two very different people. I hope it made some sense.

Thanks to the reviewers. I realize this is not the same type of thing as a normal story, but I appreciate your input.

And Akai Kitsune! I'm afraid to ask what you think of me!


	3. Kaoru

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else.

**Important Notes**: Kaoru speaks. This takes place immediately after Kenshin leaves in chapter 31 of My Life.

**Warnings**: Kaoru speaks.

Moments in Time

            Kaoru felt like she had hit a brick wall. It was impossibly strong, erected by the master of walls himself, Kenshin Himura. For a time, she worked at it, pulling it apart, brick by brick. For awhile, she thought she could see to the other side. She saw him, and he was—in her mind—crying, reaching out, asking for help. Asking to be seen, this cheerful, warm young man that she knew he was trying to hide.

            "Kaoru…"

            It was all for nothing. She threw away her tools, washed her hands too soon, and he was rebuilding the wall. When she least expected it, when she tried to rush toward him, he stepped behind it, and she collided, head first. And it hurt like hell.

            "I'm so sorry," Kaoru whimpered, collapsing to her knees. Omasu was beside her, arms around her, and Kaoru latched onto the girl, pressing her face into her quiet friend's shoulder. "He doesn't see…"

            Omasu rubbed her back and sat in uneasy silence, not entirely sure what had just happened. Weeping openly, Kaoru did not attempt to explain anything. Together they sat, waiting for Kenshin to come to his senses and return.

^_^

            I didn't know what to think. Whenever Kenshin was involved, things just seemed to go to pot. It reminded me of the old Nancy Drew novels I read when I was a girl. The main characters rarely went _looking_ for trouble. It just found them. Kenshin was like that. He did not seek out trouble, and he certainly did not want it, but it followed him around wherever he went.

            There was something about him, though. Despite all the difficulties, I felt myself drawn to him. There was this endearing quality to him, behind the cold, selfish walls he created. The mischievous, cheerful side that he rarely showed. I like to think he would be like a bright, wide-eyed youth if someone had helped him when he was younger.

            Yet, that was not the young man I wanted to see either. The sarcastic streak in him was vicious, and it was funny. I loved the way he tried to protest whenever I wanted to do something silly. He always gave in, though. Complain as he did, he liked it. He would have been long gone if he didn't.

            But back to his luck. I don't know how, but I often got sucked into this abyss of bad luck. It was okay, really. I was not affected as much, though it hurt to see him in pain. Like that night when he woke me with his tossing and turning. I was surprised he didn't cry. Me? I would have been sobbing. I _did_ sob.

            Then, the night when he disappeared. I should have known he would figure out that I told his uncle about that attack. Kenshin was too self-reliant for a twenty-year-old still mostly under the governing control of his guardian. He thought he could do everything on his own, but no one can do that and come out on top. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I could never live without someone to turn to for comfort and assistance. Guys don't go for all that, but it's hardly normal circumstances.

            Sometimes I honestly had to wonder… why the heck was I still seeing him? Who knows? Emotions are funny that way.

^_^

            Kenshin didn't come home that night. Kaoru was frantic. Kenshin _always_ came home.

            She dug out Kenshin's list of phone numbers, tucked in the stack of miscellaneous papers by the phone. Her first instinct was Sanosuke, so she called him.

            "Frank's bar and grill," a deep, annoyed-sounding voice came on the line. "What do you want?"

            "Uh…" Kaoru blinked in alarm. "I-I think I have the wrong number."

            "Who is this?"

            Kaoru sighed in relief. That was definitely Sanosuke's voice.

            "Sanosuke, this is Kaoru," she murmured.

            "Kaoru?" Sanosuke echoed. "Something up, girl?"

            "Have you seen Kenshin?"

            A pause. Kaoru's stomach sank.

            "Not since yesterday," Sanosuke said finally. "It's after midnight, Kaoru. Maybe he's studying at the library."

            "He got mad and left a few hours ago," Kaoru closed her eyes, trying not to cry. "I'm really worried, Sanosuke."

            "Call his uncle," Sanosuke advised. "I'll call Megumi and put the word out."

            "O-okay," Kaoru agreed quickly. "You'll call if you see him, right?"

            "Yeah," Sanosuke murmured. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

            "Sure."

            Kaoru hung up the phone, biting her lip as the first of the tears spilled down her cheeks. Picking up the phone again, she dialed Hiko's number.

^_^

End Notes: There's really more to put here, but I can't without revealing part of the story. Anyway, I just thought it seemed appropriate for Kaoru to have some time. Later people!


	4. Hiko

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else.

**Notes**: I know it's not the main story, but as this one is so much smaller, it'll probably be updated a little more frequently than My Life. Not much, but a little.

Okay… Hiko's turn!

**Warnings**: WAFF again. A little darkness.

Moments in Time

            It happened one fall day—Saturday, to be more specific. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling and wondered if I would survive another day of handling an eight-year-old and a thirteen-year-old.

            The girl was surprisingly calm. Most girls her age were bursting with nervous energy that always seemed to blow up in the faces of the adults around them. Tomoe never gave me any problems. She even helped with her little brother, who, I was sorry to say, was far more difficult.

            Kenshin was one of those children who had enough energy to wear down the most patient of men. I, on the other hand, was not a patient man. When I told someone I wanted something done, I meant I wanted it done well and immediately. Try telling that to some rambunctious eight-year-old. I told him to go to bed, and he would be bouncing off the walls or demanding a story. I asked him to eat his vegetables, and he hid them under the nearest napkin. At least he listened to his sister when she told him to do something. The kid was going to be the death of me.

            My thoughts were along these lines when said brat came running into the room. Needless to say, I was surprised. Usually, I got up before six every morning to avoid moments like this. So when Kenshin took a flying leap and landed on the bed, sliding into my hip and nearly toppling over me in the process, I was not pleased.

^_^

            Strong hands reached out and caught the excited boy before he could fall, and Hiko sat up, frowning slightly in irritation. Blue eyes blinked in surprise before lifting to smile brightly at the man.

            "'Morning, Uncle Hiko!" Kenshin chirped. "Why aren't you up yet?"

            "It's five-forty-five in the morning, kid," Hiko jerked his thumb to his bedside clock. "On a _Saturday_."

            "Yeah, so? You've got to get up," Kenshin squirmed out of the large man's grip, grabbing the blankets and tugging them back when Hiko did not do so immediately. "Get dressed. Come _on!_"

            "What are you doing, kid?" Hiko wondered, baffled at the child's behavior. The boy had always been outgoing, but never had he gone so far as to enter his guardian's room without first receiving express permission. That morning, not only had he burst in unannounced, but he was trying to push his uncle around.

            "Come _on!_" Kenshin tugged at the short sleeves of Hiko's shirt, attempting to get the man to stand up. He frowned, sticking his tongue out in frustrated annoyance. "Tommie said _I_ had to get you up because _she _couldn't because _you _might not be dressed."

            "And why do I have to get up?" Hiko wondered, lumbering out of bed and picking up his nephew in the process. Kenshin yelped and flailed out in alarm as he was swung over Hiko's shoulder.

            "Because it's… ehhhh… I can't tell! It's a secret," Kenshin laughed, twisting and wrapping his arms around Hiko's neck.

            "Ecckkkkk," Hiko grumbled. "You're choking me, kid."

            "Hurry up and get dressed," Kenshin countered. "I'll tell Tommie you're coming."

            With Kenshin's incessant squirming, Hiko finally let the boy drop, steadying him from the fall. Kenshin laughed again and shoved at Hiko's hip, then he disappeared through the door, feet pounding against the floor loudly.

            "No running!" Hiko bellowed, then sauntered into the bathroom.

^_^

            "You think he'll like it?" The question came from a boy with white speckled red hair. A long-fingered hand reached over and fluffed the hair, dusty white flour flying into the air.

            "Sweetie, I guarantee it."

            "Uncle Hiko isn't so tough as he acts," a thin girl with dark hair said with a slow smile. "You'll see. Get the eggs, Kenshin."

^_^

            The cheerful shout of 'happy birthday!' was something I never expected. The kids took me to the park. Tomoe was laughing when Kenshin made me sit on the swings and proceeded to knock himself over trying to push me. I was too amused by the situation to help him much.

            They later took me out to eat, Tomoe somehow producing the money to pay for dinner—our high class meal at McDonald's. That night, we went home and ate the cake they made with Tokio the previous day.

            It wasn't bad. If those kids were willing to do that for me, I must not have been doing a half bad job taking care of them.

^_^

            The ringing of a phone.

            An irritated growl.

            Hiko picked up the receiver and put it to his ear.

            "What?"

            "Is Mr. Seijirou Hiko available?"  
            Damned telemarketers. Hiko sighed and sat back against the kitchen counter.

            "You're talking to him."

            "Mr. Hiko?"

            "You feel a need to confirm it?" Hiko snapped. "Who is this, and what are you trying to sell?"

            "This is Sergeant Madison, Mr. Hiko, of the Saint Paul police force. I'm calling to inform you that your son is in the hospital."

            Closing his eyes in brief display of shock, Hiko let out his breath slowly.

            "Where?"

            _Where did I go wrong?_

^_^

End Notes: Not much to say here. Set entirely before My Life, if that's hint enough for you.

Okay, and a tiny FAQ section here.

1. Q—Why aren't the chapters longer?

A—This is not a complete story. These things are meant to supplement My Life, no more, no less. 1-4 pages max.

2. Q—Will Kaoru have more narratives?

A—Not likely. It's really hard for me to write Kaoru's perspective, and I avoid her like the plague. My apologies to Kaoru fans.

3. Q—Will you hurry it up and update My Life?

A—I will make an ass out of myself if I answer this one. Just… please be patient.

Okay, that's it. Thanks all for the reviews. Sorry I don't really respond to you here, but I do in the main story, and it seems redundant to do it here. I hope the Q&A was somewhat helpful.


	5. Bonds of best friends

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else.

**Notes**: Okay, so here's what promises to be a rude-sounding, unoriginal announcement, as I have had more than one… Anyway…

I don't do requests. If I am not inspired to write it, it just turns out bad. This does not mean it will never happen. Feel free to keep offering suggestions. In fact, I love to see them because every now and then they _will_ inspire me, and I will write something based on them.

**Warnings**: Brief first person POV of an original character who never made an appearance in My Life.

Onward!

Moments in Time

            There was a drought that summer, the sun hot and unrelenting. Stormy days, as rare as they were as of late, were a welcome relief. There had not been any rain in well over two weeks, and it was starting to show. The surrounding field was a sad mix of green, brown, and yellow, the grass crunching beneath careless shoes. A sudden breeze kicked up the dust, sending it swirling into the eyes of hapless passersby.

            Kenshin shook his head to clear his hair of the loose grit that had settled in it. His sunglasses wobbled on the bridge of his nose, and he shoved them up to a more comfortable position. Wrinkling his nose, he glared at the sand trap that had provided him with another reason to dive straight for the showers when he returned home.

            "Think a five iron ought to do it?"

            "Maybe a seven."

            Sighing quietly, he stared over the soft grass of the fairway, wondering at how the golf course got the privilege of being offered such plentiful water when the rest of it was left to die. The golfers barely appreciated it, walking across it without a second thought, occasionally cursing when their ball was caught in the wind and whipped into a patch of bushes and trees. Why they cursed was beyond him. After all, it was the caddie who had the joy of searching for said lost golf ball.

            Kenshin decided he would never golf. It was a tedious, wearisome sport that was difficult in wind, dreary in spitting rain, and downright miserable under the noon sun.

            "At least it's a dry heat!" One man joked, swiping at his sweaty brow with a handkerchief he carried in his pocket. "Boy, bring me my chipper."

            Chipper... chipper... Kenshin stared at the clubs in the bag he was carrying for a few seconds before looking back to his employer-of-the-day. The problem with being thirteen, he discovered, was that he could only do little jobs such as caddying, baby-sitting, and mowing lawns. With the lack of rain as of late, those lawns were not growing, and the children he sometimes watched were in Disney World with their parents. Being a golf caddie had not been his idea, actually, but the clever notion of his uncle, who happened to have some business associates who needed some assistance on their annual eighteen-hole tournament.

            "Which one is the chipper?" he asked blankly.

            "Ohhhh, Seijirou said this kid was sharp as a tack," a pale-skinned man in a plaid, short-sleeved shirt and khaki shorts chuckled. "Doesn't seem too bright to me."

            Kenshin rolled his eyes and held back several defensive responses, recalling his uncle's warnings (threats) about behaving respectfully toward the businessmen. Just because he did not know anything about golf did not mean he was stupid--nor did it mean he was deaf. And at the back of his mind, there was a tiny, almost unnoticed thought.

            _Sharp as a tack? Uncle Hiko said that?_

            "The smallest one by the putter, boy," the businessman who was his temporary employer said.

            Kenshin glanced at it, pulled it from the bag, and handed it over. Glancing at the next starting point, he noted with no small amount of dismay that it read seven. Seven! Out of eighteen holes. This was going to be a very long afternoon.

            He winced as the wind kicked up more sand, peppering them with the tiny granules. Yes... a _very_ long afternoon.

^_^

            Sitting at the end of the bar, Kenshin waited patiently as the businessmen shared a drink and congratulated each other on being successful people. The man he caddied for had gotten a hole in one, not to mention the best score of the three, and he was obligated to buy the group two drinks--one for the miraculous shot and the other for his obscenely good score.

            A tall, dark-haired young man walked into the club, glancing around and quickly spotting the boy. Kenshin glanced up at the wave, smiled, and waved back. He took a final, hurried swallow of his pop.

            "Hey," the man greeted, smiling faintly as Kenshin wiped his nose. The ice that had been stuck at the bottom of the glass had relented to gravity on Kenshin's last drink, dumping over his face, one cube managing to escape the glass. Kenshin pretended not to notice the ice cube that bounced under the bar.

            "Hi, Mr. Katsura," he said hurriedly. "You finish playing?"

            "I didn't play today," Katsura countered. "Your uncle had a meeting, and he asked me to drop you off at home. He said you have a key to the place."

            "Oh," Kenshin glanced across the bar at the men who were laughing and cajoling one another, attempting to get more free drinks. "I should see if it's okay to go."

            "He pay you?" Katsura asked as Kenshin hopped off the barstool. The boy glanced at him curiously.

            "Yeah."

            "Then you can leave."

            "Oh," Kenshin blinked, then smiled. "Thank god. Let's go."

            Katsura laughed and clapped his hand against the boy's shoulder good-naturedly.

            "Not much for this, are you?"

            "It was _really_ boring," Kenshin admitted quietly as he followed his uncle's associate out into the dying sunlight. "I just followed them around... The one guy said I was stupid."

            "Who?" Katsura glanced at the boy sharply.

            "I don't know... the tall blonde guy," Kenshin frowned, concentrating then shrugging helplessly. "I don't remember his name."

            "Sounds like Curtis," Katsura smiled slightly. "Well, he's an egocentric fool, so don't worry too much about what he says."

            Kenshin grinned and climbed into the passenger seat of Katsura's Jaguar. He loved riding in that thing. The thought that he was riding in such a high-class car was enough to send a thrill through him.

            "Glad school's out?" Katsura asked casually.

            "Yeah," Kenshin wrinkled his nose in distaste. "There's a girl in the eighth grade--I guess ninth now... anyway, she's always following me around. Sandy said I should ask her out."

            "Sounds like good advice," Katsura smiled knowingly.

            "Mr. Katsura!" Kenshin looked at the man in shock. "I can't stand her! I'm glad she's going to the high school. I won't have to see her anymore."

            "Not often girls go for younger guys," Katsura nodded solemnly, even as he struggled to contain his smile. "Too immature, you know."

            "I'm not immature."

            "Of course not, Kenshin."

            "I'm _not!_"

            "Didn't I just agree with you?"

            "You're acting like you don't mean it."

            Katsura laughed and shifted into a higher gear.

^_^

            "Hey, Kenshin! Wait up!"

            He's so different. It's even different from when he first came back last month, hurt and looking like he would start crying in class. Now he looks so tired all the time, the anger and sadness gone. Just... indifference.

            "Hey!"

            He barely reacts when I grab his arm, looking at me like he doesn't remember who I am. How is it I could be his best friend for so long, and he looks at me now like we're strangers?

            "Where are you going?"

            A shrug, a jerk of his arm, and he's gone again. I'm getting fed up with this. I remember Tim's mom dying when we were all in middle school, but he was never so cold afterwards.

            The hell with him. I don't need a friend like that, and people are starting to talk.

            "Hey, Sandy?"

            Speaking of talking... That's Nancy. I'm looking to make her my girlfriend.

            "Yeah?" I grin at her.

            "Kenshin coming along?"

            We're all going to the movie tonight. Jake just got his license.

            "No," I shake my head, scowling at the thought of bringing that abandoning jerk with us. "He's through with us, I think."

            "I'm sorry."

            "Forget it." Whatever. He's not worth my time anymore. "Let's go."

            Without him dragging me down, maybe I can convince Nancy to go on a date with me.

^_^

**End Notes**: Not much to say, but… anyone notice how very odd it is to say 'Mr. Katsura'? It just was not meant to be said that way, but to put Katsura-san in the story would just be inappropriate, so many apologies.

Questions answered: Wow… only one.

**Chiki**: To explain why I don't like Kaoru would take far too long and result in people preaching to me why I _should_ like her. I guess my only wish is that people respect my opinion so long as I respect that others do like Kaoru.


	6. Conversing with criminals

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else.

**Notes**: Enishi's POV, Kevin's POV. This one is a bit off the wall.

**Warnings**: This makes little sense. Not only that, but it's sick and wrong. The mind of a psycho… It's difficult to get into such a mind.

Recommended: Do NOT read before reading chapter 33 of My Life. I promise, you'll be confused.

Moments In Time

            There was no describing how much I wanted him. Not so much in the romantic manner, but I wanted him nonetheless. I wanted everything—him, his life, his family, friends… all of it.

            But it was not to be. Even when I held him, had his very life in the palm of my hand, he was not mine. I had to have him. Unfortunately, whatever I did, he slipped further out of reach.

            I think he knew. From nearly the beginning, he knew, and it scared him.

            Still, I tried. I tried not to let it show, even though I was certain he sensed it. I went so far as to threaten him. The way he shrank and shivered… it sent thrills through me. I did that. Me. No one else that I had seen could do that to him. Well… that one guy, but that was my doing as well. Pity the cops had to show up when they did. I really wanted to see it.

            That, at least, is mine. I took it. I own it. I carry it—his undeserved innocence—with me. His sweet, carefree manner…

            But wait… that was taken by that man in the truck. Curse him. That was out of my hands. I had been waiting. It struck before I was ready, my adulthood only just in my grasp. So how was I to know? I did the best I could, considering. Those scars… the ones he got after that truck hit… I gave him those. Who thought I would be so happy to give something away?

            Then—and damn them anyway—they took him back. Someone must have had some kind of control over him because no matter what I did, I could not convince him to return to me. His fear of me was greater than ever. It gave me a rush, but it was not what I wanted. I wanted it all. I still had not gotten his tears, his empathy, his love… his life.

            My personal fantasy? I wanted to bring him to the edge. I wanted him to swear his devotion when I brought him back. He's capable of so much… so much potential in that little body of his. I wanted to have it. Imagine! Imagine what it would have done for me. Imagine what success, what happiness it could have brought me, to hold that. For him to love me like real family. Funny how a man will still love their own, even if their own shoves a knife between his shoulder blades. 

            There never was enough time, it seems. First, it was that truck driver. Then, the cops. And… and then Kevin.

            I hated Kevin. Hated him. But he was very good at what he did, not to mention we both knew too much about the other to ever have to fear betrayal. Funny… I guess he betrayed me in the end anyway.

^_^

            They met at the corner of Concord and Seventy-third. It was an empty, rundown area, and no one would glance twice at the men meeting by the side of the road.

            His outdated, silver Cadillac parked in the breakdown lane of the narrow county road, Kevin glanced in the rearview mirror as a pair of headlights came into view, a truck slowing as it approached.

            "They're here," he muttered, glancing over to the man in the passenger seat.

            The soft clunk of the opening door was his response, and he looked over his shoulder to the back seat.

            "You going with?"

            An irritated sigh.

            "Who else would carry the brat?"

            Kevin narrowed his eyes at the man as he exited, annoyed at his callous behavior. Snorting impatiently, he shoved the driver's door open and climbed out of the car to watch the proceedings.

            "In the back," a bulky man stated, presumably answering a question. "Think he woke once, but he's out now."

            "Alive?" Enishi demanded.

            "Yah, sure."

            "If he's not hypothermic from exposure," Kevin muttered, pushing his hands into his pockets to ward against the rapidly dropping temperature.

            "Get him, Mike."

            "Whatever."

            Kevin sighed and got back into the car. He was just the driver this time. Well… the driver always got them to where they were going, even if that was not the predetermined destination.

^_^

            Enishi was not happy. He was never happy when the kid was involved. I've known him since he was a ten-year-old runaway, so I guess I could be considered the utmost authority on this.

            I felt sorry for both of them, truth be told, although more for the kid. Nothing that kid did would ever be right. Not enough to meet up to his so-called cousin's standards.

            I met him once, before he ever got mixed up in Enishi's sick little mind games. He was a cute little squirt, playful and friendly. Always trying to make his dear sister proud. Kind of pathetic, actually, but cute. I could almost understand why Enishi was after him.

            It really was strange, how Enishi depended on this kid. He really deteriorated when the kid was gone. I'll never understand what it was about him that Enishi seemed to need so much… to crave. No doubt about it, it was sick, but there was nothing that would change it. At least, until he went a little too far.

            Mike had it coming, I will admit. I'd known the bastard for years, and I've never liked him. Not that I really cared about Kenshin—the kid had turned into a class one ass—but what Mike did… that was too much. I don't regret pulling the plug on him. Enishi wasn't going to kill him, but a few incriminating words convinced him Mike was enough of a threat to warrant it. Now, Mike may not have been a threat to Enishi, but he deserved what he got.

            The scene at the kid's house was not a pretty one and one I'll likely never forget. I never wanted to kill Enishi in front of him. I was going to wait until later to do it. Well… I couldn't very well let Enishi kill him. Mike, yes. The kid didn't deserve it.

            So I shot him. Strange, how people react to that. The kid took it pretty well, considering he'd been shot and had a concussion on top of it.

            It was well planned. I convinced Enishi to bring the kid to his own house, although the reasons I gave him were completely fabricated. We made certain the uncle was out—he'd be back by four as always—and got into the house with the kid's own key. Mike was whacked, Enishi (a little ahead of schedule) also whacked, and the kid would live if he got medical attention soon. My own accounts were in order, a considerable amount of money transferred from one Enishi Yukishiro's account to mine almost twenty-four hours prior, which I then intended to withdraw and place in an entirely new account, new name, new everything, in Mexico.

            Not bad. Not bad at all.

^_^

End Notes: *wince* I was kind of forcing myself to write this. As a result, this is not my best, but it was something that needed to be written. I hope it made enough sense.

And to those requesting that I give my reasons for disliking Kaoru: If someone asked why I disliked a _real_ person, then maybe I would reconsider, but Kaoru is fictional, and really there is no need. I do not wish to be harassed on this issue (I've had quite enough of overzealous reviewers from other stories), so please be kind and let it drop.

Reviewer questions:

**C-Chan**: 'Request' may not have been the best word to use. Please don't think I'm singling anyone out. You're not the only person who made such a suggestion. Hey… that's a better word. Suggestion.

**Chiki**: The golfing scenes were set when Kenshin was 13. The friend's POV was set about a month after Tomoe died. Contrary to the original dates I put into the story (which will be changed soon), Tomoe was 20 when she died. And that was just a random, unimportant girl.

**Fuuko-san**: I can't tell you if Kenshin and Kaoru get together or not. That would be unfair.

**futagoakuma-tenshi01**: Well… think a younger, more cheerful Kenshin with shorter hair. It's almost a different person.

**Everyone else**: Again, thank you for your comments and criticism.


	7. Dreams and illusions

**Disclaimer**: Sessha owns nada. I just wrote it in three different languages, all at once. In such context, it's probably meaningless. I own nothing. There.

**Notes**: Sorry for being so slow on putting these out. I'm almost finished with the next chapter of My Life, so look for that soon.

Okay… longer than usual chapter (not by much, granted).

**Warnings**: Definite shounen ai content, shading toward yaoi. Sadly, somewhat predictable.

Recommended: One section will make more sense if you have already read chapter 34.

Onward!

Moments in Time

            A rush of hot wind. The hair blows outward like usual. A curling iron flips the hair out into some semblance of a decent hair style.

            _It's become an art_.

            Then, out comes the foundation, powder, lipstick, mascara, and eye shadow. Ten minutes of brushing, dabbing, and stroking the cosmetics into place.

            _Every day it's the same_.

            Brown eyes close, pinkish lips pursing in concentration.

            _I am me_._ I will allow no one to change that_.

            A trembling sigh swept through a thin body, making narrow shoulders shudder. The smooth, clean hand flipped back styled hair, and the face in the mirror smiled.

            _No amount of staring will make me cringe_.

            Pulling open the door, Kamatari stepped into the hall. He blinked at the startled yip and quickly stepped back to avoid falling over the boy in the room adjacent to his.

            Blue eyes shading toward purple stared up at him, appearing just as astonished as he felt.

            The boy was gorgeous, no doubt about it, and Kamatari had to force his mouth to close. The other boy was shorter, which was surprising. Kamatari usually resigned himself to being the smallest guy around, but this one was positively petite. The top of his head barely reached Kamatari's nose! With long red hair—messy from a restless night—framing warm violet eyes, he was undoubtedly the prettiest boy Kamatari had ever seen, himself included.

            Blinking rapidly, the boy took a wary step back, obviously confused. Kamatari felt his face warming as the redhead's eyes moved down, then back up to his face. Forcing the initial embarrassment and anger away, Kamatari brought a smile to his face.

            "Um…" the redhead was blushing as well, which made Kamatari's smile grow. "You're… you're a guy, right?"

            Kamatari did not waver. He just nodded.

            "Yes."

            The redhead sighed, looking vastly relieved.

            "Thank god," he shook his head, stepping to the side to let Kamatari pass. "I thought maybe I moved into the wrong wing."

            Kamatari's smile fell slightly, and he frowned in confusion. The boy just offered a weak smile.

            "Sorry," he murmured. "I need to shower. Can I get past?"

            "Oh!" Kamatari hopped out of the way, watching in bewilderment as the redhead walked into the bathroom. The door shut, and he was left standing in the hallway, feeling rather dumb. Biting his lip in effort to stave off a pleased grin, he flounced into his room. "Chou! Wake up!"

            The young man in the bed snorted and grunted in irritation.

            "Go away," he groaned.

            "You know the kid who shares our bathroom?" Kamatari insisted, shoving at Chou's shoulder, urging him awake.

            "Mmmhmmmmm… think it's Kenshin."

            "He's adorable!" Kamatari giggled. "I'm going to make him a friend."

            "Think he's up for it?" Chou snorted, rolling over to peek at his cross dressing roommate.

            Kamatari just smiled.

            _I can have normal relationships with other guys_._ I am not a freak_.

^_^

            I always thought he was so strong. He rarely seemed bothered by anything anyone said, and he was more independent than most of the kids I knew. (Sure, they'd all try to say they were adults, being over eighteen and all that, but as boys and girls still calling Mommy and Daddy for money and clothes, they were kids.) He depended on his family a little, but he did not have much family to speak of, so it made sense he would not call on them so often.

            When I was down, he was there for me. He tolerated my girlish ways, my frivolous wants, and even my infatuation without a second thought. Any normal guy would have been long gone by that point.

            When he told me what he had been through... I was even more impressed. Surely, someone who had lived through such hell must be strong. Suddenly, I shoved the boy who lost his family and warded off a sexual assault up on an impossible pedestal. I knew. I _knew_ he would be able to take anything. To quote an old saying, whatever hand fate dealt him, he would play the game without backing down.

            Oh, I knew he had problems. He was not good with people. Anyone could see that. I did not mind approaching him, and I pushed Chou to do the same, though my childhood buddy was less personable. Sanosuke did the same. Even Aoshi, though not so much.

            And he got sick so easily. His immune system must have been crap because he caught every little bug that swept through campus. When he had those fainting spells last year, he was honestly scared. He tried to hide it, act normal, but I could tell. I pushed him, tried to cheer him when he was down because I thought it would help him push through everything with that same strength.

            We kept in touch after I went to Harvard. I told him of my classes, of the friends I made and of how much I missed everyone at the U of M. My closest friend was a girl named Kris who never minded my odd habits. Through her I met a variety of interesting people, got into study groups and survived my first semester at the Ivy League school.

            He knew all of this, of course. I told him more than I told Chou. He always responded with more enthusiasm than Chou did anyway. Not that Chou was not a great guy, but he was not the type to enjoy a heart-to-heart.

            His emails were never so detailed. He told me what he was doing, the classes he took, about the Halloween party and that he went to basketball with Sanosuke. Little things. I never once suspected he had far more troubles than he let on.

            So when I got a call from Chou over Thanksgiving break, I was unprepared for the news he gave me. Kenshin was in the hospital.

            I wanted to go to see him, but Chou said he wasn't talking to anyone anyway. Chou didn't know all the details, but after a few tries, he finally got back to me with more information. Kenshin had been shot in his own home--in his own room. Two other people died in the incident, and the whole thing was blamed on Chou's roommate. It was something straight out of a murder mystery... a really messy one. And when Kenshin got back, he was different. Quieter and apathetic.

            Suddenly, I was afraid to see him again. What if he had completely changed? Would he act the same way? Would he still tolerate me? Be my friend? Or was he as cold as Chou said?

            Then, I saw him. He was exactly the same. Quieter, yes. Apathetic? No. Just unsure. He moved with the caution of a man afraid of what havoc his actions might bring... as if a single wrong word would bring down the gates of hell, loosing every demon, every evil, every bad thing that could ever be. He was afraid of losing everything he had worked so hard to get. He was afraid he already had.

            Now I know. Now... I realize what I did not know before. He's not any different than anyone else. He's just a kid trying to make it in this world. He has insecurities, needs, wants. No one knows how to help him, and he so desperately needs it. He's overwhelmed with the heavy burdens fate placed on his shoulders. For so long he lived with it, and now it's finally become too heavy.

            I don't know what to do. It's too much. I can't imagine everything he's been through. All I can do is lay here and hold him and remind him that I'm here, that I won't leave him, that I won't let anything hurt him. The worst part is knowing that the things that hurt him the most are things I can't do anything about. I can't bring his cousin back to life. I can't fix his friendships. I can't give him passion for life. I can't do anything. I've never felt so helpless.

            He doesn't even complain when I press my lips to his forehead. He looks so peaceful in sleep. The only signs of his torment of minutes ago are the dried streaks on his cheeks and his too-pale face. Otherwise, you'd never know he had just been speaking too fast, barely stringing together coherent sentences. With the way his hair falls over his face, he looks very young. He looks too young to have seen such pain.

            I can't help crying. Chou thinks I shouldn't do it, says it's girly, but I can't help it. What else am I supposed to do? Even if I knew how to fix this, he's asleep, and I don't want to wake him. Surely if he dreams, it won't be as bad as the thoughts he has when he's awake.

            He is strong. I was right about that. He's strong because he's still here, despite everything he's told me. He's strong because he knows what he wants even if he doesn't know how to get it. He's strong because I need him to be strong. Because if he's not... if he's not, then I've lost another friend. And I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

            But now I'll just cry. I'll make sure he's there, his breath light against my cheek, his heart settling into a steady rhythm under my arm. He's alive, safe, and sleeping. 

            Tomorrow, I will be strong for him. I will help him.

            Tonight I can be weak.

            Tomorrow, I will help him learn just how strong he is.

            Now... now I will mourn for him and curse myself for not seeing this coming. And I will cry like a girl because I'm scared, and I really don't know how I'm going to do everything I just promised I would do.

            "Kenshin?"

            My own voice startles me, though it is quiet. He's too tired to wake. He never hears me. I don't know if I could say it to his face anyway.

            "I won't leave you, Kenshin."

^_^

            It was a comfortable day. Everyone was out, busy with their own little errands. I stayed inside. It would have been nice to go out, but I had ulterior motives.

            _He_ was here.

            We watched a movie, though neither of us was overly interested in it. I thought it was slow, none of the actors even worth looking at. He seemed to be of the same opinion. Not that he was restless, but he kept sighing, like he was trying not to yawn.

            My arm was over the back of the sofa, stretching just long enough to be behind him. He was never the type who would lean into me. He preferred to hold a girl against him. Unfortunately for him, it seemed he rarely got an opportunity to do so.

            He was drifting, his eyes moving away from the television screen to stare out the window. What was this movie called again? It was a mess of blurry images to me. Everything else was fuzzy too. Just him, his red hair, his troubled gaze--those were clear.

            My hand was right behind him, in the perfect place for me to touch his hair. I was so jealous. My hair wouldn't grow that long. My hair was fine and unmanageable once past my shoulders. His hair was so pretty. After his eyes, it was his best feature.

            He looked at me, smiling a bit when my fingers combed through his hair. I probably startled him, but he didn't show it. He just smiled, all that sadness suddenly hidden behind a blank screen. It was a new trick he picked up. He had yet to perfect it. Most of the time I could still see what he was hiding, but he was getting better. It wouldn't be long. He'd have that look down until he could use it whenever he wanted to hide. It was kind of sad, really.

            I did not know who moved first, me or him, but suddenly it was as if my dreams had all come true. _It's been done before_, something whispered to me, but I did not care. All that mattered was his breath against my cheek, my hands in his hair and at his waist. His arm moved up, coming to rest lightly behind my neck.

            "Kamatari..."

            Heaven.

            I could not believe this was happening to me. Every advance I ever made had previously been rebuffed, leaving no room for compromise. It seemed so impossible, but he did not protest when I kissed him again.

            "Kenshin...?" I asked cautiously.

            He did not reply, his other hand moving to clutch at the shoulder of my sweatshirt. I thought I might just drown in the sheer joy of it. I was willing to bet he wasn't thinking of Kaoru at that moment.

^_^

            "Kamatari?"

            Kenshin frowned when the man did not immediately respond. A hand on Kamatari's shoulder was usually enough to get his attention. When this failed, Kenshin gripped the young man's other shoulder as well and gave him a light shake.

            "Kamatari," he muttered again.

            Dark eyes snapped open, accompanied by a soft gasp. Kenshin lifted his eyebrows curiously as Kamatari stared at him incredulously. A deep flush settled across the other man's cheeks, and Kenshin cautiously pulled his hands away.

            "Chou just called," he said slowly. "He said they were on their way to pick us up for dinner."

            "Dinner?" Kamatari echoed blankly. He glanced at the television screen, quiet and dark. "The movie--"

            "Was boring," Kenshin shook his head. "I shut it off after you fell asleep."

            "Fell asleep..." Kamatari sighed.

            "Yeah..." Kenshin nodded slowly. "So I turned it off."

            "Turned off," Kamatari repeated uneasily.

            "Is there an echo in here?" Kenshin smiled warily. "Yeah, turned off. You can watch it tomorrow if you really want to."

            "...Damn," Kamatari groaned and buried his face in his hands, leaning back against the couch cushion.

            "What's wrong?"

            "Nothing!" Kamatari said quickly, eyes wide and cheeks still red. "Nothing at all! Dinner, you said? I'll go change. Something warmer, right? Nicer?"

            "Kamatari--"

            "I've got to go," Kamatari interrupted hurriedly. When he saw Kenshin's wide-eyed gaze, he added, "To the bathroom. I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll be right out."

            Confused, Kenshin stared after him until he disappeared around the corner to the hall. Shaking his head, Kenshin sat down and reached for a book.

            "I'll never understand him."

            In the privacy of the bathroom, Kamatari took the time to properly chastise himself. Fist hitting the wall with a muted thud, he sighed sadly.

            "I'm such a fool."

^_^

**End Notes**: For those who did not catch it—yes, Kamatari was dreaming, thus his reaction when Kenshin woke him. And I jumped back in time a bit for the first section. Sorry if that confused anyone.

**Random Omake** (I wasn't going to do these for this story, but I just could not help it.)

**Kamatari**: He's adorable! Can I keep him?

**Chou**: Sure. Go buy him some toys and a bed.

**Kamatari**: I'll put bows in his hair and call him Fluffy!


	8. Moments to live for

**Disclaimer**: Rurouni Kenshin characters are all owned by someone else.

**Notes**: Okay, for those wondering at how long it's been since I updated My Life, please forgive me. I'm caught in a vicious bit of writer's block. I promise the story _will_ be completed. Just give me a little time. My mind is on many other things and not easily pulled back into this.

_The chapter_: Kenshin's POV.

**Warnings**: Again with the WAFF. It's set after the story ends and is better read after chapter 34 (or even the end) of My Life. (Oh, and it's really short. Sorry.)

Moments in Time

            I haven't had a good night's sleep in nearly a week. Last night, I didn't sleep at all. All my life, I've had to deal with stress. One would think I could deal with it now. But my heart is pounding, my vision tunneling. I can hardly breathe, and my hands are trembling.

            She does not seem to notice. I hope it remains like that. Her eyes are shining as she tells me about her interview and how the man smiled and shook her hand and said he'd see her again. She is still dressed in her interview clothes--businesslike--but nice enough for the place where we ate. I am still in work clothes, too, come to think of it. Khakis and a sweater because I just look too ridiculous in an Oxford shirt and tie, and the kids had a tendency to poke fun at my appearance if I wear that.

            She's still going. She can go for hours if I let her. I keep listening, although I barely hear her. I told myself I would not let the fear beat me this time. Terrified though I am, I can do this. I can survive this one trial.

            I think she suspects something. For days now, I've been trying to keep it from her. She is always so perceptive, though. She always knows when I am hiding something, even if she chooses not to make mention of it.

            God, I can barely think anymore. What if I ruin everything?

            She is looking at me strangely. I probably am supposed to say something relevant to the conversation, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what she is talking about. It seems right. Time to change the subject. But… I can't take it back once I do.

            Kenshin? Her mouth is moving, forming my name, but I don't hear it. Perfect. Maybe I'll pass out and skip the whole thing. Sano would call me chicken shit. Maybe I am.

            By some miracle, I smile. She seems relieved, and I can't say I blame her. Taking her fingers in mine, I kiss the back of her knuckles lightly. She loves it when I do that, for whatever reason, I don't care. I like doing it. Unfortunately, this night, it gives me little comfort.

            "You're pensive tonight."

            "Yes," I agree, releasing her hand and pushing my chair back. My legs are weak, and it's just as well that I sink to my knee next to her. The moment of truth. "Because I've been thinking about how to ask you…" Out with the little box in my pocket. I manage not to drop it, though my hands are so sweaty I don't know how. "Kaoru… will you marry me?"

            At last. She smiles.

^_^

End Notes: Can't say much about this. One of those things that had to be written, but it didn't fit in My Life.

_Reviewers_: Not much to reply to, here. I think I scared some people with the last chapter. *blink* Well, I'm sure this will clear up and questions about whether or not Kenshin and Kaoru are getting together. Now, if anyone asks me, they will be ignored or directed back to this chapter.


End file.
